Top 5 Worst Golf Gimmicks

5. The Medicus

Just don’t buy it. Or at least do not let anyone know you bought it. 

I would immediately ask for money back if this was my first golf lesson. This instructor should have his his pro status revoked. 

 

4. The Hammer

If I ever saw anyone bring this to the course, I would have to refuse to play with them. Unless they grunted every time they swung…

 

3. Natural Golf

Instead of calling it “Natural Golf” it should be switched to “I hit nothing but punch shots (even off the tee with my driver)”. 

“Naturally” you will hit the ball straighter if you only hit punch shots.

 

2. Uro Club

This can actually be bought and it has its own website. 

What a great idea. Let me piss into a hollow club, place it back in my bag, and carry it around for 18 holes. 

1. The Speed Stick

You really have to invent a big piece of shit when you are able to beat out a club you pee in to for the number 1 spot. The speed stick is the shittiest golf gimmick ever produced. 

It’s a fucking stick! That’s it. I have several of these in my backyard if anyone wants to come by and pick up for me.

Tough Guy Challenge

I just saw a news story on the 2009 Tough Guy Challenge. This is the picture they were displaying for the story:

 

 

I have never watched the tough guy challenge, but it apparently involves fluttering around half naked across fire. After reading the title Tough Guy Challenge, this is naturally the first image that pops into your mind.

 

Lets take a look at some of this years other competitors:

 

 

Before I get several comments telling me all about the tough guy challenge, I realize it is actually one of the hardest things to compete in. But that is the funniest photo I have seen in years.

Giants Fan Crying

One more reason the NY Giants suck.

 

 

 

the other reason……

How have I never heard of this guy?

This guy can pitch right and left handed. Even if he doesn’t make it to the pros, it is still an accomplishment to throw opposite hand and not look like a fag.

NFL Today Hiring, Speech Impediment Required

If you have a speech impediment, you can work at The NFL Today.

 

Exibit A. Shannon Sharpe.

 

No one knows what the hell Shannon Sharpe is saying in this video. I think he is mumbling something about Home Depot in the beginning.  

If Shannon Sharpe didn’t play football, he would have a great career of playing musical instruments out of everyday garbage. Not since the days of Mushmouth have I heard someone struggle with their D’s and B’s like Shannon Sharpe. 

 

Ehibit B. Bill Cowher

Bill Cowher must eat a container of peanut butter before he goes on air. His lips are just unnatural when he is speaking. 

 

The NFL Today should just fire Boomer, Marino, and James Brown and make it an all lisp cast. I have a few suggestions for who should fill in:

 

Leon Spinks.

Spinks would be a great fit for NFL Today. Not only does “Neon” Leon share the same immaculate Geri Curls as NFL great Deion Sander, but they also share the same nickname. 

Leon Spinks’ lisp would fit in perfect with Cowher and Sharpe. At least he has an excuse with his lack of teeth.

 

 

Mike Tyson

If Tyson didnt exist, Spinks would hold the honor of gayest sounding boxer. Thankfully for us, Tyson does exist. There isn’t much to comment on Tyson that isn’t already known, so I will just post one of my favorite videos of all time: 

 

Bill Plascke

You can watch Plascke on ESPN’s “Around the Horn” battling todays sports stories and his ability to put an S or TH in a sentence everyday. Plascke shares the same set of peanut butter lips as Cowher. This guy knows his sports and has an amazing impediment, sign him up today.

 

Plascke, Tyson, Spinks, Sharpe, and Cowher. That would be an all star cast of speech disorders.

Jeff Garcia, Nice Job

Jeff Garcia’s wife is extremely hot. I have to give him major credit for overcoming his own hideousness and scoring a ridiculously hot girl.

Jeff garcia gives hope to all those men out there that look like a mix of corky from Life Goes On and Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is why I need to be rich. If Jeff Garcia wasn’t throwing footballs for a living, he looks like he would be pushing shopping carts outside a Pathmark or wiping my table down when I am done eating at Wendys. 

 

 

 

I would post more pictures of Carmella Decesare on here but it just makes me more upset and its hard to balance my laptop on my lap while sportin a semi.